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Jan. 22, 2024

A Death Sentence at Six Years Old #03

A Death Sentence at Six Years Old #03
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Season 1

This is about Deborah’s introduction to her lifelong companion known as “Diabetes.” What she thought was a week-long illness turned out to be more than that, a getting-to-know-you journey that eventually will have its way when she reaches the last day on earth. Until then, the living is in the living, and the story began when Deborah was six.

Chapters

  • 00:00 Intro (and Disclaimer)
  • 01:22 Were We Visiting the Symphony or the Ladies' Room?
  • 04:24 Grandpa Had to Have His Way (and He Saved My Life!)
  • 07:38 Moving Into the Hospital for 11 Days & the "Talk"
  • 13:18 A Lifelong Relationship with Diabetes & Closing

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Chapters

00:00 - Intro (and Disclaimer)

01:22 - Were We Visiting the Symphony or the Ladies' Room?

04:24 - Grandpa Had to Have His Way (and He Saved My Life!)

07:38 - Moving Into the Hospital for 11 Days & the "Talk"

13:18 - A Lifelong Relationship with Diabetes & Closing

Transcript
Deborah E:

I'm living inside of this perfectly wonderful world.

Deborah E:

Oh yes!

Deborah E:

I no longer have this thing called diabetes.

Deborah E:

I am cured!

Deborah E:

I can go home.

Deborah E:

I no longer have to stay in the hospital.

Deborah E:

I was so happy.

Deborah E:

She says no.

Deborah E:

You're going to have this for the rest of your life.

Deborah E:

It's like, you mean I don't get better?

Deborah E:

This doesn't just go away?

Michael Anderson:

Join Deborah E, multi-award-winning singer, podcaster, and

Michael Anderson:

speaker, who proves that being diagnosed with a life-changing illness as a child,

Michael Anderson:

along with countless hospitalizations in a family, Who told everyone she'd be dead

Michael Anderson:

before she reached puberty does not have to stand in the way of life well-lived.

Narrator:

The DiabeticReal podcast and the content of its websites are

Narrator:

presented solely for educational purposes, and the views and opinions

Narrator:

expressed by guests are theirs alone.

Narrator:

They do not necessarily reflect that the host of the podcast, the content

Narrator:

is not intended to substitute for professional medical diagnosis, advice,

Narrator:

or treatment ongoing or otherwise.

Narrator:

Be sure to always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified

Narrator:

healthcare provider with any questions regarding your health care.

Deborah E:

Okay, we're going back in time and we're talking about when I was

Deborah E:

diagnosed with this wonderful disease.

Deborah E:

Isn't that a great name?

Deborah E:

Disease.

Deborah E:

That's called diabetes.

Deborah E:

Uh, you know, it's, it's funny because I've had it for so long that the idea

Deborah E:

of when it started is, it's, it's like, oh, well, I've had it, always had it.

Deborah E:

But that's because I was just so darn young.

Deborah E:

Um, I was six years old and, yes, I did have a normal

Deborah E:

childhood up until that point.

Deborah E:

I ate candy, I ran around barefoot, um, did all the things

Deborah E:

that normal little kids do.

Deborah E:

All the things that after that I was told I couldn't do and that was like, well,

Deborah E:

you can't run barefoot because, you know, you cannot scratch your foot because

Deborah E:

diabetics cannot have cuts on their feet.

Deborah E:

They might not heal and then you'll die.

Deborah E:

All these things like that.

Deborah E:

So I had to be really careful.

Deborah E:

Anyway.

Deborah E:

I went to a symphony concert that my sister, my sister was nine years older.

Deborah E:

And this is the sister that I don't mention a lot.

Deborah E:

So you probably won't hear a lot about her in other podcast episodes.

Deborah E:

But anyway, um, went to a symphony concert where she was performing and

Deborah E:

I was trying to be a good little girl.

Deborah E:

Cause it was all about being a good little girl.

Deborah E:

Behaving like you were in church, and I was just so, so thirsty, and I would

Deborah E:

ask mommy if I could go get a drink, and at first, I think, if I remember

Deborah E:

correctly, she went with me because, you know, we gotta be, gotta be safe, so

Deborah E:

she'd go with me, and I'd go get a drink, so I just kept drinking and drinking

Deborah E:

and drinking and drinking, because of course, with diabetes, that, with the high

Deborah E:

blood sugar, it makes you very thirsty.

Deborah E:

So, I would go sit down, and it's like, as soon as I sat down, I was thirsty again,

Deborah E:

and I'd asked to go get a drink of water.

Deborah E:

Well, you know, several, I mean, lots of that.

Deborah E:

I could, I just could not sit down without being thirsty again, and

Deborah E:

my mother was losing patience.

Deborah E:

Any mother would lose patience.

Deborah E:

I don't blame her.

Deborah E:

I don't blame her, because it was, it was never-ending, and she

Deborah E:

was getting very upset with me.

Deborah E:

But then I wouldn't sit still, and I'd beg.

Deborah E:

I tried to be a good little girl, I really did, but I was so thirsty, and

Deborah E:

I would start, I would start crying.

Deborah E:

I didn't make noise, but I would just, I was just begging for the water, so,

Deborah E:

you know, pretty soon it was like, even though I was sick, she's, she's

Deborah E:

like, we're downtown Minneapolis.

Deborah E:

She's like, you know, go drink water yourself.

Deborah E:

It was just like, just go get it yourself.

Deborah E:

And of course, what happens when little girls drink a lot of water?

Deborah E:

They have to go to the bathroom.

Deborah E:

So if I wasn't begging to go Drink water at the water fountain.

Deborah E:

I was begging to go use the bathroom.

Deborah E:

Well, I mean I did have enough smarts to drink the water and go to the

Deborah E:

bathroom in the same trip But every time I'd go sit down I'd have to go

Deborah E:

get up and then go drink water and go to the bathroom Oh, was my mommy not

Deborah E:

happy with me by the time we got home?

Deborah E:

Well, it just so happened that my grandparents, my father's parents were

Deborah E:

also with us and my grandpa saw that.

Deborah E:

Now, he must have been chuckling.

Deborah E:

He must have, well, I mean, he's chuckling, but he's also very concerned.

Deborah E:

And he said to my parents, especially to my mother, because my mother was really

Deborah E:

kind of, you know, losing it with me.

Deborah E:

Um, as far as just really upset with me, she's trying to pay attention to

Deborah E:

her other daughter and the performance in this little six-year-old just

Deborah E:

will not stop and not a fun evening.

Deborah E:

We'll just say.

Deborah E:

So anyway, he said, you have got to check little Debbie.

Deborah E:

By the way, I cannot stand that name.

Deborah E:

I'm just saying, but at the time, that's what they called me.

Deborah E:

You've got to check little Debbie for diabetes.

Deborah E:

And my mother's like, she doesn't have that.

Deborah E:

No, no, no, she doesn't have that.

Deborah E:

But my grandpa would not let up.

Deborah E:

So here you get the six-year-old that won't let up about drinking water, won't

Deborah E:

let up about going to the bathroom, and now the father-in-law won't let up about

Deborah E:

that her little daughter has diabetes.

Deborah E:

So he pulls out, back then, it was, it was, you know, quite a

Deborah E:

few decades ago, pulls out this stuff, it was called Tes-Tape.

Deborah E:

It was like this, I don't even know, it looked like the size of um, Dental

Deborah E:

floss container like a little travel dental floss container and this little

Deborah E:

tiny it wasn't tape even I don't even know how to explain it Except that

Deborah E:

it looked like the size of a dental floss and he's like you just dip this

Deborah E:

Okay, sorry to be prepared gross.

Deborah E:

But anyway, put it in urine test it.

Deborah E:

It'll change colors.

Deborah E:

So she's like, okay, whatever I'll take it home and you could get these

Deborah E:

little test things, you know, over the counter, pretty inexpensive.

Deborah E:

And of course, Grandpa loved his little granddaughter, and he's like,

Deborah E:

just take this with you, take it home.

Deborah E:

She's probably thinking, oh gross, you know, whatever, but I'll do it if

Deborah E:

it'll get my father-in-law off my back.

Deborah E:

So she takes it home and she tries to explain it to me, and she's like, I'm

Deborah E:

sure it means nothing, but we're gonna do this because then Grandpa will be happy.

Deborah E:

So I pee in a little Dixie cup or something, and she goes and tests it,

Deborah E:

and right away, the test tape is yellow, but right away, It changes color.

Deborah E:

I think, I can't even remember if, what color it was, but

Deborah E:

it was not yellow anymore.

Deborah E:

It changed, immediately.

Deborah E:

It changes another color.

Deborah E:

And she's like, oh, maybe there is something wrong.

Deborah E:

So she calls the doctor, and we're like an hour out of Minneapolis,

Deborah E:

where we live out in the country.

Deborah E:

And we go to the doctor within that week, like, not too long after that.

Deborah E:

We see the doctor that same day after we get back home.

Deborah E:

So this is like, you know, Monday or whatever, after the symphony

Deborah E:

thing that happened Saturday.

Deborah E:

I mean, it's, it's, it's pretty soon after the symphony.

Deborah E:

Um, same day that we'd just gotten home from the doctor appointment,

Deborah E:

we get a call and it's like, "Get her to the hospital now!"

Deborah E:

It's like I'm thinking even as a little kid I'm thinking why don't we just

Deborah E:

stay at the doctor's and go from there?

Deborah E:

I mean, why are we making all these trips back and forth, you know

Deborah E:

from the house to Minneapolis?

Deborah E:

I knew that much when I was six and my mother put the ugliest dress I gotta say

Deborah E:

that that brown dress is not gonna win a fashion war But back then, you know, you

Deborah E:

put a little dress on when you're going to go to the hospital, whatever so little

Deborah E:

brown dress with a little orange flower on it, all dressed up to go to the hospital.

Deborah E:

And from there, I was in the hospital for 11 days.

Deborah E:

And I just remember my arm was like the size of an adult man's finger.

Deborah E:

And All it was, was constant shots and finger pokes.

Deborah E:

Back then, they, nowadays, when they do a finger poke, as they call

Deborah E:

it now, they call it finger stick, there's all kinds of different names.

Deborah E:

They'll do it on the side of the finger, at least, if anyone's gonna do it to you.

Deborah E:

Tell them to do it on the side of the finger because there's less nerve endings

Deborah E:

there, but they didn't for some reason they didn't think that they didn't know

Deborah E:

that whatever so they did it right dead center Right where all the nerve endings

Deborah E:

were and for whatever reason they did it really hard So it's like they were

Deborah E:

gonna go right through the finger.

Deborah E:

You don't have to do it that hard you can just poke it and the finger will

Deborah E:

bleed, but I guess they didn't know it back then so they went really hard

Deborah E:

Right dead center right where all the nerves are and of course my fingers

Deborah E:

are really tiny at six years old.

Deborah E:

And the needle that they used, and by the way, you don't need a really big needle.

Deborah E:

They used something that looked like the size of a darning needle.

Deborah E:

It was huge, like, like a knitting needle kind of thing,

Deborah E:

but it was a darning needle.

Deborah E:

And they'd poke me.

Deborah E:

So I wanted, I wanted to shriek.

Deborah E:

And they were doing this several times a day.

Deborah E:

Then they were giving me shots in my arm.

Deborah E:

And these Shots seemed huge because, again, my arm is like

Deborah E:

the size of a man's finger.

Deborah E:

It's, my arm is so small.

Deborah E:

Now, I could kind of handle the shots in my leg.

Deborah E:

That was, that was sort of okay.

Deborah E:

Oh my goodness, did I want to shriek on the shots in the arm.

Deborah E:

I had one nurse that she could stick the shot in the arm Pull it out.

Deborah E:

I mean, she, she could give the shot, pull it out all in one, one second.

Deborah E:

She did it so fast.

Deborah E:

Her name was Cindy.

Deborah E:

I even named my cat after her.

Deborah E:

I just loved Cindy.

Deborah E:

She was great.

Deborah E:

She could do it and it didn't hurt that bad.

Deborah E:

And I would follow her around.

Deborah E:

She'd take me, there's this nurse's station that was in another building.

Deborah E:

I was in, um, Children's Hospital in Minneapolis and I would follow her

Deborah E:

around and she went over to this other this other spot and she's like, well,

Deborah E:

honey, you can't come in here because the patients can't come in here.

Deborah E:

It's like, okay, I'll be a good little girl.

Deborah E:

I stood out in like the grassy area and waited for her and she'd go in there, and

Deborah E:

she'd smoke her cigarette in the lounge.

Deborah E:

It's like, you're not supposed to smoke.

Deborah E:

That's not good for you.

Deborah E:

I know, I know, but sometimes adults do things that are not good for them.

Deborah E:

But she was my buddy.

Deborah E:

She was my, my uh, my buddy, the nurse, my buddy that could

Deborah E:

give me shots that didn't hurt.

Deborah E:

Anyway, um, so 11 days while they figured out How much insulin I needed.

Deborah E:

And I thought, silly me, I just thought that it was like a

Deborah E:

cold and I'd get better, right?

Deborah E:

And they would do these tests.

Deborah E:

It was different than the, um, the tests that I had from, from my grandpa's.

Deborah E:

Um, test tape and it, it's this thing where you put drops of water and

Deborah E:

drops of urine and then you put this little, it was, I think it was called

Deborah E:

Clinitest, this little tablet in there and it's cool if it weren't for the fact

Deborah E:

that it's urine, which is disgusting, but anyway, it would change colors.

Deborah E:

Now if it turned, if it changed to brown, that's really, that's, that's sugar.

Deborah E:

And that's, that's bad.

Deborah E:

You don't want it to be brown, but if it was blue, that meant there wasn't sugar

Deborah E:

in the urine, and that was really good.

Deborah E:

So I remember when they, it was there a few days, when it was

Deborah E:

blue, and I thought, Oh, yes!

Deborah E:

I no longer have this thing called diabetes!

Deborah E:

I am cured!

Deborah E:

I can go home!

Deborah E:

I no longer have to stay in the hospital!

Deborah E:

I was so happy!

Deborah E:

And my mother grabbed me, and she says, Honey, we need to have a talk.

Deborah E:

You need to sit down here in the hospital bed.

Deborah E:

And we need to talk.

Deborah E:

And it's like, what mommy?

Deborah E:

I'm going home, right?

Deborah E:

I'm all better.

Deborah E:

It's like the cold has gone away.

Deborah E:

This diabetes thing has gone away.

Deborah E:

And she says, no, you're going to have this for the rest of your life.

Deborah E:

It's like, you mean I, I don't get better?

Deborah E:

This doesn't just go away?

Deborah E:

And she said, no.

Deborah E:

It doesn't ever go away.

Deborah E:

You will always have this thing called diabetes.

Deborah E:

Actually, back then they called it diabetes.

Deborah E:

Now, we call it diabetes.

Deborah E:

She says, you always have this.

Deborah E:

Oh, I could not.

Deborah E:

You know, other things I could kind of understand.

Deborah E:

I could understand the testing.

Deborah E:

I could understand the shots.

Deborah E:

I even understood what they were doing as far as balancing it.

Deborah E:

But at six years old, I could not understand that you got a chronic

Deborah E:

illness that never went away, that you would have that the rest of your life.

Deborah E:

Um, obviously, now I do, but at the time, it just was so hard to understand

Deborah E:

that you didn't get better, that you just had that the rest of your life.

Deborah E:

So, yeah, it made me sad as a little girl.

Deborah E:

I kind of, um, I'm not the type to sulk, but I have to admit, at six, I kind of

Deborah E:

sat in my little, my little hospital bed, and I was sad, and the doctor

Deborah E:

came in and said, I want you to play.

Deborah E:

I want you to, you know, play with the other kids, play in the playground, do

Deborah E:

this kind of, I want you to be active.

Deborah E:

You need to, of course, now we know it's because you could have exercise too.

Deborah E:

That's good for a diabetic to have.

Deborah E:

And so I did start to, you know, I made friends, I played and so forth

Deborah E:

and obviously adjusted, but that first, those first few moments, it's

Deborah E:

like, but I did the right thing.

Deborah E:

I got to the point where I actually made it blue.

Deborah E:

So I thought I had done so well, and I'd finally gotten over this disease, but

Deborah E:

instead, I realized that I had entered into a lifelong relationship with this

Deborah E:

entity that was called diabetes, and I'm still in this lifelong relationship

Deborah E:

with the entity, that's called diabetes.

Deborah E:

And you know what?

Deborah E:

It's not that bad.

Deborah E:

She and I have developed an interesting relationship that we will

Deborah E:

learn more about as we go through this podcast called DiabeticReal.

Deborah E:

Thank you for joining me and we will see you in the next episode.

Deborah E:

But before I go, I want to invite you to a community that I've started where

Deborah E:

if you have diabetes or any other challenge that you're going through

Deborah E:

and you want to ask questions or chat or discuss, please come join me.

Deborah E:

And the community that is called DiabeticReal.

Deborah E:

net for the community.

Deborah E:

The website for this podcast is DiabeticReal.com, but again,

Deborah E:

join me in the next episode of the podcast, DiabeticReal.

Deborah E:

And this is Deborah signing off.

Michael Anderson:

Thank you for listening to this episode of DiabeticReal.

Michael Anderson:

For more information about this podcast, as well as links and fun

Michael Anderson:

stuff related to DiabeticReal, visit us at our website at diabeticreal.com.

Michael Anderson:

Now, we'll listen as Deborah E herself sings one of her favorite songs.

Michael Anderson:

The song is called Perfectly Wonderful World, written by Denny Martin

Michael Anderson:

and Jaimee Paul, engineered by me, of course, your host, Michael, in

Michael Anderson:

our Seaside Records Studio here in lovely Los Angeles, California.

Michael Anderson:

It was on number one ReverbNation charts for over a year and

Michael Anderson:

still charts very well.

Michael Anderson:

So have a pleasant moment and listen to Perfectly Wonderful World.